Sun
Towards the sun marched the ant.
In front of it, the red fireball struggled in its descent, leaving its final marks upon the barren land, bleeding the sky red, its shape burning into the retina of the ant’s eye. The breeze of the night blew past the ant’s antennae, freezing its body, reminding it of the inevitable arrival of the night. Not much time left, the ant thought, as it quickened its steps.
Behind it, darkness reached out its claws and grasped the many legs of the ant. It shivered, not from the cold, but the fear. Months ago, when the ant was very young, its father, now long passed, warned it against the darkness in the hours without the sun, for evil creatures dwell within. Flies, bees, snakes, and lizards span the dark world, tearing apart any ants that dare enter it. Of course, young as the ant was, it did not fully believe the tales of its father – not until the latter died in front of its very eyes, as it was snapped into the invisible darkness one night while gathering food for the queen. The young ant was frozen in place as its father was taken - in the great panic one experiences after witnessing the sudden calamity of death, especially that of a loved one, it knew to do nothing but rub its abdomen against each other, chirping as loud as possible – a desperate shriek, completely inaudible in the wind. After what felt like a century, the ant’s neurons decided to send one collective signal to the ant’s body that the ant shall dutifully follow: run. So ran the ant did, fast and cowardly, back to its colony, leaving its father in the claws of darkness behind it.
Another breeze blew past, snapping the ant out of its thoughts. The ant shook its antennae and quickened its steps once more, escaping, somewhat hastily, the darkness trying to slow it down. It was never the intent of the ant to be outside the colony at this hour – in fact, it had left its colony since the giant fireball in the sky began its descent hours ago. Normally, failing to fill its quota of gathering leads invariably to death, but the ant is sure that the queen will make an exception just this once, as it will bring back something far more valuable for the queen than mere food could compare: the ultimate token of its loyalty and the source of eternal light - the sun. Set off, then, the ant did, towards the sun, without regard of the heat or cold that surrounded it, on a voyage lasting indefinitely – for the charisma of light far overpowers anything that the pathetic brain of the ant can perceive. Besides the safety and comfort the sun guarantees, the rest of the world is naught. Naturally, the queen must love this plan, the ant thought, for she is concerned daily about the snakes taking over their colony. Every time such thoughts flashed through the ant’s brain, its antennae always shivered with excitement, as its brain cannot help but picture the glory as the ant is celebrated forever around the colony for bringing eternal happiness, safety, and warmth to everyone. A world in which everyone is happy! What else could it ask for? One must not be greedy, the ant thought.
Of course, the sun is far. Such is the only imaginable reason that no other ant has taken on this adventure – or, at least, not successfully. This particular ant, however, was distinguished from the rest. Such was the case throughout the ant’s life, be it the ant’s first scavenge, the loads of food it gives to the queen, the drooped antennae of its peers whenever it was rewarded, or the miraculous escape from the lizard that ate its father. Therefore, naturally, the voyage to retrieve the sun shall be similar as well. The ant will, of course, lift the sun like it lifts any ordinary pebble of the same size, and carry it back the same way it came. Snakes and lizards are not to be of concern – after all, when the bane of these pests is being carried by the ant, it would be surprising if they did not immediately retreat into whatever darkness is left in this world – if the blazing fireball would not achieve such effects, then nothing will. As the father of the ant used to say, nothing can change the world and repel the pests – nothing except the sun. Curiously, whenever its father said that, besides the joy of enjoying the light, the ant always read something forlorn behind its father’s cloudy eyes, as if it was mourning – mourning the setting sun, of course, as all ants do, but also mourning something greater, something the ant cannot quite comprehend. No matter, it shook its antennae vigorously – none of this is of any importance when the sun is retrieved soon.
As if responding to the quickened steps of the ant, the sun’s descent became accelerated, painting the clouds in the distance a dark, bloody red. Darkness chases behind the ant once more, enshrouding it evermore. Dark, how unbearably dark was the night, the ant cursed under its breath, that it must terrorize us forever? The sun was still distant, not an inch closer to the ant, it seemed, than when it first set out hours ago. The only difference was that the sun now halfway sank below the horizon, and the ant knew, with absolute certainty, that it will become a dessert for the pests once the other half gives in to the struggle. Shivering in the cold, for the first time in its life, the ant felt fear – fear that it might be dragged into the abyss of darkness like its father, fear that it might, after all, not retrieve the sun and be paraded like a hero in the colony, fear that the ants in its colony may have to be subjected to the same terror that governed its father’s and its own proper life. Each organ of the ant sung in a perfect harmony of terror and chaos, arguing that it should have stayed in line, that it should never have left the colony. The legs of the ant retired first, going on strike and leaving the body in place, then its limbs, and finally its heart was gripped by fear. Darkness, however, was still hasty, as it slithered through the grass and grasped the now useless legs of the ant. The ant forced itself to take control. Move! It screamed to its own limbs, which sprang to motion all at once, with such force that, it seemed, for a second, the world rotated – the sky became the ground, and the ground the sky, with the ant floating in between. For a slight moment before it crashed into the ground upside-down, the ant genuinely believed that it had turned the world; instead, its back smashed into the ground mercilessly, its legs helplessly flailed in the air, its head whirled from the sudden change in perspective, and its last hope shattered. With what seemed like all the force left in its body, the ant lifted its head and caught a glimpse of the last iota of the sun weakly giving in to the power of darkness, which claimed, victoriously, the entire land and sky. The ant could do nothing – nothing but sigh and roll futilely on the ground, nothing but observe its own legs flail… Its legs…
The ant froze in place, its legs stopping in the middle of their motion. The ant looked unbelievably at its hind legs, which, as sure as the existence of the Earth beneath it, was glowing gold – it was emitting light! Eagerly yet carefully, the ant turned its body horizontally – sure enough, the side of its hind legs facing the red clouds – where the sun once was – is glowing! The ant rolled over rapidly, shaking slightly as it checked one last time that its hind legs were indeed glowing, then sprinted into the darkness, chirping ecstatically. Perhaps it was gifted with the power of the sun, the ant thought joyfully, perhaps the sun recognized that it was different from other ants and, not being able to save the ants in the colony on its own, had to give its power to the ant to use – it was special after all! Naturally, it was to be selected by the sun – it was the least it expected as a reward for its long voyage. The doubts, the regrets, and the sadness now were thrown into a corner of the ant’s head so furtive that they shall never be found again. I will be presented to the queen as the ultimate gift, it thought, I shall receive the ultimate glory that any ant could imagine!
So lost in its imagination of glory the ant was, that it forgot to check its hind legs one last time. Should it have paid a bit more attention to its legs after it had embraced the darkness, it would have realized that the legs only “glowed” in the presence of the remaining light from the sun, and perhaps its long-lost feelings of despair would have resurfaced.
For the ant, however, none of these mattered. In its mind, it had already returned to the colony and was treated to the feast of breadcrumbs and candy bits like a true hero, with its names chanted across the streets of the colony. The darkness of the night cowered in the presence of the light of the ant’s imagination.
Yet, how dark – indeed, how unbearably dark, and utterly cold, was the night.
-2024.10.9, Waterloo ON, Tony Su
Footnote: Of course, this article (or short story) is very similar to many others I have already written, and thus seems sort of repetitive. However, besides the fact that I genuinely believe this is the best, most complete piece that expresses my feelings, it is also important in that it documents the transition of “the ant” from an ignorant, involuntarily profiteer of others’ sufferings into a conscious agent acting in favour of its people, or perhaps for its own glory. In the end, whether the hind legs of the ant were glowing or not, whether the ant (like its father) died to the lizard or not, was very much not of importance. Obviously, chasing the sun and attempting to bring it back into the colony was futile – but was it foolish? What more was there that an ant could do? What more is there that we can do? After all, nothing can change the world and repel the pests except for the sun, and the sun bled to death a long, long time ago.
Art Credit: TBD
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